Monday, 18 May 2015

Confession of The Heart

Never have I felt so nervous before. Come to think of it, it's actually my first time trying to confess to a girl. I'm known for being bold, in doing things without needing to hesitate much. However, for some reasons, I had to gather all my courage to do this. Not only had I to do it once, but 3 times, before I got through with it on my third try. The funny part is that I didn't succeed in the last attempt, but neither did I fail too =)
My First Attempt
After thinking it through a while, I figured I gotta have a plan. And so I plan to tell her after dinner. When dinner was over, I kept on thinking where and how to start. Guess what? Those thoughts never materialized. Because I hesitated, thinking of what'll happen next, the night just went by. Most of the time, I could only look at her with a smile, though she didn't noticed it. Of course, I would still have the casual chat, but the important message which I want to tell her, just couldn't come out.
So, The Second Attempt
The inner me was thinking "I couldn't possibly tell her during day time, it's out of a sudden anyways, and most definitely bother her work as well", and so I figured it would be best that I tell her over dinner. As we had our dinner, I constantly thought about the What-If's. By the time I knew it, dinner was over and so was the opportunity. You know that 1 bit of fear and doubt is actually quite scary? 'Cause it eats up all the courage in you. I had a full plate of courage, and yet, it was emptied right out with my own questions. That's me for being analytical whimp! *facepalm*
The Final Attempt
After thinking it through, I realized I had nothing to lose after all. But surely I would have gained something if it was all good. I silenced the inner-analytical-self for the moment. I had 1 goal and only 1 way to do it. It is "Now or Never!" I was going to do anyhow without bothering about the outcome. However, I was short on time. So, I sneakily got a rose and hid it in my car. to wait for that one awesome moment to give it to her.

When the time came, somehow doubt was starting to come out, but I ignored it and went with what felt right. I told her to hang on a moment as I have something for her, and whipped out the rose hidden at the back seat. Her eyes opened quite wide with a smile. And that's where, I became nervous *facepalm* Words didn't come out as I had planned and rehearsed. I was lost for words, can you imagine that? LOL indeed! We sort of laughed about it as I try and complete my sentence. And she's cheeky to interrupt at one of them as though she knew what I was going to say.
"We've been friends for some time now ..."
"Not long enough *laughs*"
"errr *ok she's got a point as well, dang, what now?* "
See what I'm saying? I trying to even asked her in a foreign language "Would you be my girlfriend?" and even that didn't come out right, despite me rehearsing it for a FEW days.

Anyways, I somehow managed to get through it without fainting off, but I didn't get the answer I was looking for. Of course, any guy would be looking forward to a "Yes", but getting a "No" would be a closure too. However, I got "Give me sometime to think about it ya. And thanks for the rose." I didn't really prepared myself for that answer though. As I bid her good night, I went back thinking "What does that even mean?" but after a while, it came to mind "Hey, she didn't reject me! *YES~!* Now, all I gotta do is wait for her answer!" I think it went well, even though with the slight hiccup here and there - at least there were smiles and laughter though, lol

This is probably one of the most difficult thing to do in my life!
*wipes cold sweat*

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